Unexpected Lessons from the Mall

I hit the mall about once or twice yearly, for whatever terrible reason.  Today, we ended up at a mall and had to stay there for a couple of hours.  As painful as that can be, we made the best of it and saw a few things of note.

First up, axes!  There’s an LL Bean store at the local mall and, being from Maine originally, I had to stop in and check out their overpriced awesomeness.  I milled around for a bit and found myself in front of the rack with hatchets and camp axes.  I saw Gransfors Bruks, Wetterlings, and I was more than a little surprised to see Council Tool represented on the rack.  Council Tool, as far as I know, is the last manufacturer of American made axes.  They are based out of North Carolina.

It’s a decent hatchet with the LL Bean logo embossed on it.  Three or four years ago, Councils were selling between $40 and $60 bucks.  Apparently, they caught on to the fact that axes have a cult following and there are those out there that believe that the more you pay for an axe, the better it is.  Viva la capitalism.

After that, we headed for the doll shop.



So, I wasn’t aware of this, but there’s a very popular doll line that has stores dedicated to it.  If you can believe it, this store has a hair salon for dolls.  And people bring their dolls in to have their hair done.  And it’s not considered theft, because it’s consensual.


I decided to use the bathroom while I was there.  It was the cleanest bathroom I’ve ever been in.  Apparently because no men have ever entered.


My thoughts went to the next economic crisis.  I know, I know, doomsday crier. Ruining everything that’s fun!  But how do you compete for a job to feed your family when you’ve got “doll hair stylist” on your resume?  I felt bad for those people.  Maybe we’re all in the same boat with a hole in it, but I can’t help but think that those with a more practical skill set are going to be much better off in the next economic crash.

Lessons were to be had, as well.  Eldest boy was miserable in the doll store.

“I’ll never forgive any of you for bringing me to this horrible store,” he said.


This was the prominently displayed face.  None of the people that worked there seemed surprised by it.

I explained to him that one of the most important lessons that I’ve learned in life is to show interest in things that the people that I love are interested in, even if I think those things are not worth spending time on.  I’ve watched men bring women to boat and sporting shows and refuse to go to quilting shows to reciprocate.  Often times, relationships like that end in divorce.  I made him stay as long as his sister wanted to and even pointed out when I thought a display was neat.

I won’t be spending any more time at the mall this year, if I can help it, but it sure was a lesson-filled day.

Pax Domini Sit Semper Vobiscum,

Mike, Oscar, Hotel……out.




9 thoughts on “Unexpected Lessons from the Mall

  1. Very Funny. I enjoyed the laugh. Thank You. I have always been so impressed by your malls or should I say from what I have seen of them. Also Axes are hugely popular in the states, same as hunting knives. Wow. I would be in boy heaven. Most our Hardware stores have imported Chinese axes made from recycled coke cans. Terrible is not the word. I could not agree with you more with regards to relationships, it really is a matter of give and take. Dan


  2. Wow doll hairdressers and 139 $ axes, who’d have thunk it. I think I own 8 hatchets and axes in various flavors and sizes. Most of them hand-me-downs, and junk pile finds. The only one I paid money for was a cheap Chinese commie double bit one that I just could not pass up cause it was priced at 5 dollars. And yes you do know exactly where that came from…. as Birdie Googins used to sing on the TV adds; “should have bought when I saw it at Maaaaaardens.
    I walked in to the hardware store the other day and was reminded about your post on the 10 $ log at the supermarket. Next to the register they had a display with single 7×7” cedar shingles in a colored cardboard wrapper and instructions on how to grill your salmon on a plank. Price for each glorified shingle was 14 $….. about twice as much as I pay for a pound of salmon when I do buy it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Romeo Lima Victor II

    Great post. I am not sure why but I clicked on an old bookmark today and ended up here. I used to follow you on here and the Tiny Homesteaders page (i miss that one great info and entertainment) At one point you had taken sabbatical, glad to see your at it again. Now I have some catching up to do. Thanks for the great content.


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